with your own penis?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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