Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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