my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
