sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize