Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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