Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
