The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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