I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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