You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i came on her dog
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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