I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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