Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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