STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
