im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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