i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just pee around me
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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