We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
