is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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