i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
