the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
