remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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