Hey man sorry I got all grabby
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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