btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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