She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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