so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
