i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
