There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
