dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
