Whod you bang
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
