Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
