Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
