You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
