dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
