is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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