are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
