I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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