he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
