matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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