yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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