Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
well you can't waste a boner
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
