Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
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I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
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I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash