Texts From Last Night

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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.

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  (808): The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet. http://tfl.nu/mtia
  Replies (12) Good night (1291) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.

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  (404): Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one. http://tfl.nu/q7a8
  Replies (2) Good night (2630) Bad night (416)
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  (310): View more from California

  my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.

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  (310): my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet. http://tfl.nu/p26k
  Replies (36) Good night (1057) Bad night (4239) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to

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  (612): I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to http://tfl.nu/s30p
  Replies (154) Good night (3887) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.

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  (843): I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina. http://tfl.nu/l94r
  Replies (15) Good night (725) Bad night (3298) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic

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  (512): Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic http://tfl.nu/ja5d
  Replies (16) Good night (4897) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds

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  (303): Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds http://tfl.nu/arjt
  Replies (14) Good night (2404) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.

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  (910): It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend. http://tfl.nu/x0gc
  Replies (10) Good night (1796) Bad night (1189) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.

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  (402): You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee. http://tfl.nu/tlaj
  Replies (13) Good night (862) Bad night (1888) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.

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  (714): I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished. http://tfl.nu/d04x
  Replies (12) Good night (4966) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.

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  (515): You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony. http://tfl.nu/x4rf
  Replies (3) Good night (916) Bad night (442) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises

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  (843): I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises http://tfl.nu/gq7h
  Replies (3) Good night (787) Bad night (368) Order T-Shirt
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  (438): View more from Quebec

  Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.

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  (438): Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up. http://tfl.nu/g79y
  Replies (4) Good night (1210) Bad night (540)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today

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  (306): I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today http://tfl.nu/t6ni
  Replies (0) Good night (796) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you

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  (818): Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you http://tfl.nu/ksv2
  Replies (1) Good night (225) Bad night (387) Order T-Shirt

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