So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize