Your dad touched me again.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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