I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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