This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize