you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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