I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
