i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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