so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
