come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
