Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize