dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
