As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
