I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
