She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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