yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
