It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
