told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
