I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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