I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
