No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
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my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
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I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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