When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
