It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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