She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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